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The Superwoman Chronicles

Domestic inadequacy, strange fits of goddess-ness, and visual evidence. Because if I’m going to fail or succeed at being SuperWoman, I’m going to revel in it.

SuperWoman Makes Progress

November 1, 2013

Here is one sure sign that SuperWoman is progressing as a yogi. She went to her regular 9 a.m. yoga class this morning. Nothing unusual. She left feeling wonderful, refreshed, free from tension. She knew she would need a snack when she got home, and her favorite snack lately is Ritz crackers and peanut butter. […]

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You haven’t heard from SuperWoman in a while. That’s because she’s involved in the stage of her life where she’s supposed to understand that she’s not a superhero at all, but really a plain old human being. (She’s not having any of it.) And as other human beings do, she had this idea to take […]

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SuperWoman has met her high-maintenance match with her progeny, TalkMonster. Especially now that he’s turning six. (SuperWoman, despite her super-ness, would really like an instruction manual for how to deal with an almost-six year-old who alternates between knowing everything—including how she should drive—and bursting into tears over the unfairness of life.) TakMonster has a lot […]

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SuperWoman knows that the beginning of January is the time to take stock. Not for soup, but for life. SuperWoman tried to do this on New Year’s Day. She woke up after only five hours of sleep (children don’t care how late you got to bed celebrating), drank tea, went to yoga, read a little […]

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Want your head to hurt? Spend approximately 59 minutes with TalkMonster and WonderMess. To be fair, Superwoman had it coming. It was a cold Monday, the air holding the scent of winter in its breeze. Superwoman woke up in the dark and couldn’t bear to exercise, so she threw on a sweater and some cheap […]

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1. Because she’s fucking tired. (Yes, Superwoman says fuck. It’s fun. Try it.) 2. Because she has to sit on her dirty couch and bite her nails about the oncoming Frankenstorm. She is still recovering from Hurricane Irene last September, and now here comes another one. That night, all she did was worry that large […]

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SuperWoman Makes Breakfast

September 9, 2012

SuperWoman can’t decide what to call this episode. Is it “Breakfast in the Time of Chaos”? “Winning!”? or is it “Why Is There no F-ing Peanut Butter in This F-ing House?” Setting: Sunday morning, the first weekend after the start of school (which Mr. B claims is the best place on earth, but not in […]

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You know those days when you wake up and know that it’s not really physically possible to do all the things a superhero disguised as a regular woman is supposed to do? When your supereyes open and you realize your superbody really can’t move? It’s called a sick day. And even SuperWoman has them. Like, […]

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You may remember that not too long ago, SuperWoman broke new Super-ground and ordered HBO.  One of the big draws was that she had just finished Boardwalk Empire, Season 1 on DVD, and she was dying to get her hands on more. The show started out so beautifully. It whisked SuperWoman off to the vibrant ’20s, to […]

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If you didn’t hear, SuperWoman is now a city working girl. Picture Melanie Griffith at a nonprofit magazine in Philadelphia instead of on Wall Street,  with calmer locks and a cheap pair of Rocketdogs. Yup. That’s Superwoman now, with laser beams protected snugly in her blue-stone earrings. Each morning, SuperWoman catches a bus to a […]

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