Scroll down to "like" An Attitude Adjustment on Facebook! And sign up to get emails every time there's a new post!

SuperWoman Makes Breakfast

September 9, 2012

SuperWoman can’t decide what to call this episode. Is it “Breakfast in the Time of Chaos”? “Winning!”? or is it “Why Is There no F-ing Peanut Butter in This F-ing House?”


Sunday morning, the first weekend after the start of school (which Mr. B claims is the best place on earth, but not in those exact words).


SuperWoman: Damn straight!

Mr. B: Boy child of five, picky eater and sometimes pain in the ass for people who live with him. Okay, probably a little more than just sometimes.

Mortal Husband: Poofy haired man who fluctuates between superhero and mortal depending on SuperWoman’s mood. Usually makes the children breakfast, for which SuperWoman is eternally grateful.

Act I

SuperWoman: What do you want for breakfast? Do you want Honey Nut Cheerios? We have two boxes of them.

Mr. B: No.

SuperWoman: We have hamburger buns! Do you want peanut butter on a hamburger bun?

Mr. B: Uh. No.

SuperWoman: Well what do you want then?

Mr. B: Bagel. Bagel and cream cheese.


Act II

SuperWoman: Okay. Opens the refrigerator. Oh. We’re out of bagels.

Mr. B: Okay, peanut butter on a bun then.

SuperWoman: Mortal Husband, where’s the peanut butter? I can’t find the peanut butter. There is way too much jelly in this refrigerator and not enough peanut butter.

Mortal Husband: Uh, I don’t know.

SuperWoman: I’m not finding the peanut butter!

Mortal Husband: Oh, wait. We’re out of peanut butter. Yup. Out of it.

SuperWoman: Out of peanut butter? I was just at the store! Why didn’t I buy any peanut butter! Mr. B, we don’t have peanut butter either.

Mr. B looks back with wide eyes. SuperWoman summons her magic creative breakfast-making powers and says:

How about cream cheese on a hamburger bun?



Mr. B: Sighs. Fine. But make a hole in it so it’s like a bagel.

SuperWoman thinks Whatever, kid, you think I’m some kind of a chump, like some hole in the middle of your hamburger bun makes it a bagel, you really need to grow up and eat more food, this cream cheese is going to tear the damn bun apart and then you won’t even have a bun, why the hell did I buy you all that cereal if you’re not going to eat it, how can we be out of things already when I just went to the store on Friday? I really don’t feel like going to the store again.


SuperWoman can’t decide if she’s serving the force of good or evil.

End Scene.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Carol Smith September 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

There you have it…….It’s all in the presentation!


Kate September 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Ta da! Magic! (but no PB? How will you survive?)


Sandra September 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Don’t question whether you’re serving good or evil. Just be grateful that Mr. B actually bought the whole “Hamburger bun with a hole in the middle” schtick and at it. …But just so you know, you are serving good :)


Kristen @ Motherese September 12, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Among other things, your post brings up the age-old question of whether peanut butter belongs in the fridge or in the pantry. One of the reasons I am a strong pantry advocate is that cold peanut butter is really hard to spread.

That bagel bun would have been toast. (Pun intended.)


Jana September 17, 2012 at 2:24 pm

You make an interesting point. We use the natural kind with the oil, and I’ve noticed they are not all the same. There’s a certain brand that begins with an “s” that costs me a whopping four bucks, but it tends to spread fairly easily. Which reminds me: next time I do this, I’ll cut the holes out after the spreading happens. (That’s the kind of sentence that makes people’s brains hurt.)


Heather Caliri September 12, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I feel a sense of complete desolation when the acceptable alternative to the first out-of-stock request is also out-of-stock. It’s completely unfair! It is wrong!
Also, I discovered this morning we are nearly out of butter. Sigh.


Cathy September 13, 2012 at 5:20 pm

You know….if it looks like a bagel…..


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: