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Words of the Day

January 27, 2012

Progesterone: a hormone which plummets in a woman’s fourth decade and may cause brief, intermittent bursts of psychotic behavior.

See also:

Children: Small screeching creatures who change settings on woman’s iPhone.

Husband: A man who “does dishes” by leaving large pots in the sink.

Dishes: Porcelain, plastic and glass items that magically appear only moments after they are put away.

Synonyms: Laundry

Antonyms: Freedom

Neighborhood Bank 

1: Asbestos-ridden financial building whose workers look like they crawled out of a hole in the ground.

2: Institution whereby citizens hand over hard-earned money and are told they cannot retrieve it for several days. (Citizens apparently do this willingly. White-haired and/or balding men get rich from the interest.)

See also:

Interest: something women with low-progesterone levels rarely have.

61° and raining

1: weather report for Friday, January 27th near Philadelphia

2: symptom of polar ice caps melting

3: sign of “end times”

4: weather which, combined with woman’s low progesterone levels, causes increased propensity toward psychotic behavior

Free and easy wanderer pillsmagical, easy to swallow pills given by acupuncturist or herbalist which make Woman her usual enthusiastic, nurturing self


1. archaic: universal antidote to common ailments such as seasonal affective disorder, anxiety, moments of existential crisis

2. modern: universal antidote to common ailments such as seasonal affective disorder, anxiety, moments of existential crisis

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