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SuperWoman Makes a Resolution

January 1, 2012

Welcome to 2012, year of the apocalypse! Did you notice how unusually warm the weather is? That’s because the world is going to end.

No matter.

SuperWoman thinks resolutions should happen all year long, not just at the beginning of a new year. But she’s a sucker for any chance for reflection and self-improvement. What, that surprises you? Well then you’ve obviously never battled the Traffic Monster Machine or the Inflammable Wolf and then took a quiet breather on a grassy knoll in New Zealand. It’s divine.

Superwoman will not vow to lose weight or join a gym. She joined a gym once, and she remembers it as a dark time in her life when she woke at 5 in the morning to climb on a smelly Stairmaster while fat men breathed heavily all around her. She will not do that again. (Sorry, fat men.)

No, what SuperWoman is resolving to do is something much larger, much bigger. She is picking a word, a concept, and “setting her intention” (as the yogis say), for the entire year. SuperWoman can’t remember what her word was last year, so it must not have worked out.

Here are the words she was considering, but rejected out of necessity or because they were just plain boring:



Spacious Accommodations (two words, but SuperWomen are allowed to cheat)

Even-Temperedness (virtually impossible as her progesterone levels plummet)

Instead, she settled on the word “acceptance.”

Here is a list of the things SuperWoman is going to try to accept as she sits cross legged on her mountain each morning:

Accept people as they are, and don’t try to change them or offer ways they can improve. (And if she must, at least utilize nice stationery.)

Accept herself, her superness and her flaws. (Though there are so terribly few, despite what her husband would have you believe.)

Accept the past instead of wondering how or why something bad happened. Accept that the future is unknown. (Unless she goes to a really good psychic.)

Accept that her husband will probably never put his clothes in the hamper. (Though she can continue to shove them under the bed, out of sight.)

Accept that her daughter’s teeth may never fully come in, that she may be 21 years old and still drooling all over her hands.¬†

Accept that money comes and goes like rain. (Prepare for droughts. Lots of them.)

Accept that throughout the world, and especially in New Jersey, people will continue to use apostrophes incorrectly. (Wait. She doesn’t know that she should accept that.)

How many grandpops are they selling in there, do you think?

SuperWoman can go even further, but she suspects those seven things will get her through the month of January.

What is your word for 2012?

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