There are a few of us in this world who want to preserve antiques, like the proper use of an apostrophe, period or comma. We also appreciate when people capitalize and spell words correctly. We’re called The Correctionists.
It’s not that we are walking around like Lynn Truss with our Sharpie markers, though I admire her willingness to vandalize public property. If I could remember to carry a marker with me, I might do the same. (Her book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves is a hilarious comment on the decline of punctuation in contemporary culture.) Put simply, we Correctionists are people who take pride in adhering to rules of grammar and punctuation. We like to follow the rules, to preserve a future where people still manage to communicate. Because grammar and punctuation—all of writing—is about trying to connect in this unintelligible world.
So wake up, America! (And beyond.) Listen to your grammar teachers. And if you can’t bear to do that, take a minute to research your usage so you don’t look like a complete idiot.
Case in point:
I went to a quite wonderful bar in Philadelphia last Saturday night, called The Franklin Mortgage & Investment Co. It is hidden behind a thick iron door, reminiscent of speakeasies from the 1920′s. The drink list was superb, like nothing you’ve ever seen before. I ordered a Blonde Redhead—a mix of champagne, cognac, and raspberries—and felt like a flapper. But there, on the bottom of the menu…did you catch it?
A menu is not “availible.” It’s available.
I don’t think Ben Franklin would be proud.
*Warning: This post has been unhealthily proofread.
*Visit The Never True Tales to find out more about The Correctionists. (Amy really started this whole thing by posting examples of America’s punctuation demise.) We’ll be doing periodic posts and are currently soliciting your corrections! Email jana@anattitudeadjustment.com or amy@nevertruetales.com to share your photographic evidence. It’s what people in public education would term “a teachable moment.”
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m so excited to do this! (Showing my geeky side, aren’t I?)
And “Bartenders” needs an apostrophe, although in this case I’m not sure whether it should come before or after the “s.”
Wow! There is definitely an apostrophe epidemic! I missed this one (perhaps because I’m not interested at all in beer). And I do wonder whether they’re talking about one bartender or many. Thanks for playing along, Jane!
Also, there should be an apostrophe after the s in “bartenders” to show possession. (Hey, this is kind of like a sickness, isn’t it?)
It’s not a sickness. It is justice!
Keep the faith, people!
I’m in!
I noticed the “bartenders” issue before the misspelling you pointed out, but I caught them both. I am an environmental scientist, but at heart I’m an English teacher; I tell people all the time that my dream job would be editing science textbooks.
I love this idea; I can’t wait to see what else The Correctionists improve.
If you are an English teacher at heart, Kimberly, then you are part of my heart. English teachers unite!
Next, The Correctionists should address this issue:
http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2011/06/30/death_of_the_serial_oxford_comma
You know, I’m so worked up about this Oxford comma business, I haven’t been able to write about it yet. But I think you’re right. I must get cracking.
I am reading “The Social Animal” right now and there was no period at the end of the second paragraph in the introduction. Can you believe it?
David Brooks is probably burning his bow-tie in frustration. (The New York Times would NEVER!) :)
Your so right, Jana!
Hee hee.
It almost pained me to type that, but it needed to be done.
My mom, who was a 5th grade teacher, was totally a Correctionist! She’s the only reason I have good grammar. (Usually). I’ll see what I can do to remember to send you the unjust errors I notice in the world that swirls around me. :)
I am a nightmare for English teachers everywhere. Yet I notice spelling errors often. It is a sad thing to see the world dissolve into the use of words that fit better into our blackberries. I must admit, I myself have used the term ‘thru’ and ‘c u later’. But (which I am told never to start a sentence with) spelling mistakes on a menu? Tacky.
Just happened upon this:
http://dailycaller.com/2011/07/26/the-elements-of-f-ing-style-curse-word-for-a-greater-purpose/
I’m totally with you, Jana. Also very bugged by bad grammar and punctuation. And spelling. Recently Facebooked a local burger truck that kept misspelling the store, “Lowe’s” as “Low’s”…Told them, “I love your burgers but your misspelling is bugging me!” I received an apology.:-) I’m starting to think I should start a proofreading business.
P.S. Did you notice the number of fragments in this comment? I did.:-)
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