Melissa Sher at Mammalingo is hosting a mini-meme called “People who kick a—-,” and she asked me to join.
But mostly I’ve been fucking stressed about how to avoid using profanity, like “a-s” in a post.
Any ideas?
I’ve settled for “butt.”
And while I’m talking about butts, let me tell you that contrary to popular parenting etiquette, I don’t make my kids say “bottom.” I let them say “butt.” Because “butt” is only a dirty word if you let it be.
Moving on…
I’m supposed to share with you the story of a person who kicks “bleep!” because the news covers too many Weiners and not enough truly, wonderfully good people.
I’m supposed to tell this person’s story of heartache and triumph and why they deserve a spot on Good Morning America.
But as I strummed my fingers, thinking about this person, I realized that there is no one who has had heartache and triumph who should be punished by appearing on Good Morning America.
So I’m going to talk about my own little universe of People Who Do Good Things.
And after some very hard thinking (because I’m a negative and judgmental person), the person that kept coming up, over and over again, was my husband (who would tell you very directly that I’m a negative and judgmental person).
I know, this seems tacky, like a PDA. I’m not into PDAs, but I do think my husband Does Good Things.
One: He makes me coffee every morning. Not only does he put the scoops in the cylinder, but when it’s done brewing, he adds milk and sugar and delivers it to me wherever I am in the house. It is simply delightful, one of the truest displays of love I could hope to find in a man.
Two: Right now, he is cleaning our basement. We’re getting what’s known as a French drain because water has this strange tendency to seep through the walls after a bad rain storm, and I’m about tired of that happening in what is supposed to be my kids’ playroom. For a while, the basement seemed haunted to me. I knew bad things were happening down there. I didn’t want to deal with it, though, so I comforted myself by making a very long list of all that needed to be done. He has tackled that list all day Sunday, on Monday night after work, and now tonight, throwing out trash, organizing, sweeping…. The only thing he is not doing is licking the floor. (That would be alarming.)
These are Very Good Things.
My husband kicks my bottom.
Visit Mammalingo to read about more people who do good things and aren’t Weiners.
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And the part of this that has me laughing the most? It’s the suggestion for readers in the “You Might Also Like…” at the bottom. Like this post? You might also like “The Famous Men I’ve Lusted After.”
I wish your husband would come clean my basement. If he did, I’d figure out a way to get him on GMA as a thank you. I mean, I might have to say that he Tweeted with a nude politician to get him on but I’d see to it that he made it on the air one way or another.
I’ll be posting the into to this on Mammalingo shortly. Thanks so much for doing it!
Okay, I just want to point out that I think you’ve cursed more in this post than I’ve ever seen you curse, and a fair chunk of your post is about avoiding cursing! It made me giggle.
What’s wrong with the A$$ word anyway?
Glad to see that you have a hubby that kicks butt. That’s awesome.
My hubby makes me coffee too…and leaves it in a thermos by my bed because he goes to work at 4:30 and doesn’t want to wake me. I sometimes take it for granted and now will remember to say thanks.
Nice! I too have a coffee-making husband. Is it not the best thing ever??? And now I’m just going to brag – he does laundry too!!! :)
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