When I was a young girl, my mother told me that I needed an “attitude adjustment.” This meant that I was pouting and needed to smile more. 30 years later, I’m still a pouty girl. And nothing made me want to smile less than someone telling me to.
I never thought I’d be a stay-at-home mom. Of course, I do think that every country should have paid maternity leave for a certain amount of time, but I always saw myself as a working woman. So I was a bit surprised when I realized I wanted to stay home with my toddler, even if it was only for a couple of months. Then I became a stay-at-home mom for the second time this past July. The first time was with my son who is now two-and-a-half, and after 8 months or so, I was going stir-crazy, even though I had a part-time job. He wanted to move around the house and engage with other children; I wanted to move around the neighboring towns and engage with adults. So I went back to work. After a year, though, I was five-months pregnant and laid off from my job as an English teacher. I knew it would be good to have time home with a new baby, but I was worried about the isolation, the boredom, my creative brain turning to mud.
That’s when I decided I needed an attitude adjustment. I was going to be fortunate enough to be home with my two children and have some unemployment money coming in (every English teacher in PA knows how impossible it is to find a good teaching job). I talked to older women who said they cherished time they spent with their children who were now adults, and I realized I was very lucky.
So I bucked up and threw myself into playdates and storytimes. Surprisingly, it’s been rewarding. In the last stage of my pregnancy, I still enjoyed time with my son, especially when he could occupy himself with toys and I could read the Huffington Post. Now that the little girl is here, I’m realizing how hard life can be with two crying/whining kids to contend with, but I still feel fortunate to have this opportunity. Despite what it might sometimes feel like, this will not last forever. They are only young for a short time, and I’m trying to treasure every minute of it.
I’m keeping a positive attitude. (Mostly.)
This blog will be about the joys and trials of my experiences in parenthood and womanhood. Please feel free to share your own.
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