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Rock Stars Own My Heart

August 24, 2015


I just saw that it’s been over a year since I wrote a post on my favorite little blog. But I have good reason for my scarcity, so I’m not going to beat myself up about it.

I’ve spent my summer—and for that matter, my spring, and winter—going through the process of getting a divorce.

What does that mean? It means adjusting to a shared custody schedule with my kids, who are sitting at the dining room table with me now as we watch videos on YouTube and eat peanut butter crackers and color pictures. It means talking to my lawyer at five-minute increments to get as much information as I can before getting billed a butt-load of money. It means lots of emotion, and loneliness, and the kind of deep friendships I’ve always wanted, and grief over the loss of the family I thought I’d have. It also means freedom and beauty and moments of amazement at my life and the woman I’m becoming.

And, thank God, it means music.

I have been addicted to music lately. It reminds me of being sixteen, of drowning out everything except the headphones in my ears, of escape. It makes me dance, it makes me feel connected. And after doing some research about stress, I realized why it’s especially appealing right now. Music—along with meditation and a few other things—is an antidote to reducing our stress hormone, cortisol.

How did I find this out? Not because I was researching the effects of music on stress. It was because I had regained belly fat after losing baby weight and was like WTF, WTF? Until a light-bulb went off and I realized that stress might be causing me to gain or hold on to weight (despite my running and exercise regimen) and I started to do some investigating. Turns out in situations like mine, sleep might actually be better than forcing yourself to run a 5K.

Anyway, I want to be a rock star, but I can’t sing or play any instruments, but I can certainly dance and appreciate music. And one day I’m going to get myself a pair of black (or red?) leather pants.

If I could invite you to my living room and sit you on my couch and play some great songs for you, I would. But since this is a blog, the best I can do is share a few videos. No need to watch them, though–you can just hit play and listen while you cut up strawberries or bathe your cat.

Katy Perry

I just…fucking…love her. (Don’t tell my son I said that word. He thinks anyone who curses is a criminal.)


Margot and the Nuclear So-and-So’s.

How much do I love this band? I am so grateful I found them! The lyrics are smart, funny, and likely drug-induced. But who’s judging. Not me! Take a listen. (My favorite album so far is the most recent, Slingshot to Heaven. Available to listen to on Amazon Prime for FREE, by the way, which I’m kind of afraid to tell you because I worry Amazon will take it off if too many people know.)

(“I love you so who cares if we’re lazy….”)


As always, Tori.

When I’m in a certain mood, I find her and watch her and get lost in her voice. And them I’m 13, and 16, and 20, and 24, and 27, all at the same time, and whoever and wherever I am is swirled into one magic moment.

How awesome is this cover of “The Boys of Summer?” She nails it.


Tegan and Sara

Am I the only one a little freaked out by identical twins with the same voices forming a band? But this album, Heartthrob, is upbeat and really fun.


Ryan Adams

You just can’t go wrong with Ryan Adams. Ever. Really, ever.

Did you know he’s married to Mandy Moore? I just found this out!


(And by the way, I’m hoping to write a little more regularly on this blog. It’s like a double-dog-dare to myself. But I’m not holding my breath, because life is crazy right now. See above.)



And Then There Were Three

August 14, 2014

First Child: Chatterbox, worrywart, sensitive soul with big, big heart


Second Child: Wild woman, devourer of anything chocolate, free spirit, blessed with neverending zest for life


Third Child: She’s still a mystery! (An adorable one.)

 Welcome Isabel! Apparently three is the magic number….


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The college I went to was all women, and friendships and relationships there felt like a sisterhood. In those first few weeks as a college freshman, I was so thrilled and excited by my new life that I was barely interested in eating—my jeans were baggy around my waist; I couldn’t wait to get to […]

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Seasons of Life

January 21, 2014

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? –Stevie Nicks For a couple of years, I walked nearly every morning. I got up early, when the house was still quiet, put on my sneakers and headed out for the same two-mile trek through my neighborhood. Even in […]

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The Year of Joy

January 3, 2014

Maybe it was the cold weather or the new year, or being stuck inside with my kids for days and days, but driving on the highway New Year’s Day, I became viscerally aware of all of my flaws. Here’s the shortlist, in case you’re curious: I am not always good at loving people the way […]

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My Christmas Song (Which Doesn’t Rhyme)

December 24, 2013

When I was in college, I mentioned at the cafeteria dinner table that I just didn’t feel that Christmas spirit anymore. Maybe it had to do with writing ten-page papers and studying for finals (ya think?), but I didn’t feel the same zest, the same joy as I remembered from being a kid. My friends […]

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Thanksgiving Poem

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I’m no Sharon Olds or Lucille Clifton, but today’s a day to be grateful, not judgmental. I’m learning to let my guard down and let all the imperfections slide…. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.     Before Thanksgiving I am thankful for the moon last night A flash of crescent that lit up the […]

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SuperWoman Makes Progress

November 1, 2013

Here is one sure sign that SuperWoman is progressing as a yogi. She went to her regular 9 a.m. yoga class this morning. Nothing unusual. She left feeling wonderful, refreshed, free from tension. She knew she would need a snack when she got home, and her favorite snack lately is Ritz crackers and peanut butter. […]

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Me and Thich Nhat Hanh

October 30, 2013

Apparently, a person who practices yoga is supposed to have a guru. At least that’s what I heard from Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love. She had (or has) one, but she doesn’t reveal who it is in the book. All we know is that it’s a woman, which is cool enough. There are so many highly […]

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October 11, 2013

I’ve feel like I’ve been neglecting my little blog. I hear her calling to me, saying Remember me? We used to be best friends. Why don’t you visit anymore?  The truth is, I’ve wanted to visit, but I’ve been trying to stay on top of all the other endeavors I’ve been pursuing in recent months. Not […]

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